FCC complaint

The use of the word "frak" in this show I find highly offensive. It is obviously a substitution for the word "fuck," which has been historically considered obscene by your standards. The writers of this show think they are clever with using "frak" instead of "fuck" but the context in which the word is used clearly is how deranged individuals would use "fuck." When I hear the word "frak" in this program I hear "fuck" in my head and this highly offends me. It is a contamination of my thoughts and I do not appreciate it. I remember in the movie A Christmas Story the character says "Oh, fudge" and the audience clearly knows the character says "Oh, fuck" and the character is punished by his father for using this word. Words in and of themselves are not offensive but their connotations and context have a negative influence on our minds, so even if a show does not use the word itself, if it conjures the word in any way and the audience knows what is really meant, then it is just as bad as using the word itself. Thus, the writers conjure the word "fuck" by using "frak." I think the FCC should do its job and sanitize the public airwaves of these conjuring substitutions, like "shoot" for "shit" and "darn" for "damn." We know this is just a clever liberal attempt to get away with using obscenity. TV shows are interrupted by commercials and their clever marketing techniques are meant to conjure a desire in my mind to buy their products, which is good for the market. We must consume at all costs. It seems the writers on this show are attempting a similar technique, to get me to think I thought the word all on my own, but I am not buying their product: bad language.

Run, Jesus, Run

When you look at this picture, think of that moment when Our Lord and Saviour comes back to earth and takes a little road trip across America just before he destroys it and he realizes we’ve done a bang-up job ourselves and heads on back to eternity with some souvenirs from Oshkosh.

Thank you Solid Rock Church for scaring the bejesus out of jesus.

corporate/officespeak i am quite tired of

value-add
synergies
fyi
look and feel
robust (applied as adjective to anything and everything), e.g., more robust platform
re-create the wheel
one-stop shop
sooner than later

Beanie Bay Scorching 2008

Beanie Bay Scorching 2008

THEM

twentythreebooks is proud to announce that Omar Shapli's newest selection of poetry is available for purchase.

Clever Reverend #6

Beanie Baby Scorching 2007

Beanie Baby Scorching 2007

The World's Fastest Growing Sport

Absinthe - It'll Do It to You (Continued)

Absinthe - It'll Do It to You

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Mr. Longfellow's Home

Nickname

I've never had a proper nickname. There have been attempts, but nothing has ever stuck. That's mostly because I haven't been the warmest, most fun-loving guy in the world, the kind of guy that people would think of all affectionately, enough to have a cutesy shorthand for eternal reference.

The most recent nickname is not really a nickname but is some hybrid of sorts simply because I have no blood relation to the cool little gal that calls me by this name:

Uncle D.

Fitting. Perfect.

It is certainly better than "The Doog," something that I tried to keep alive ever since high school Spanish class.

A close second is "The Reverend" or "Reverend Mo" from my Army days.

I had a homeroom teacher who gave everyone a nickname, and since I apparently didn't make that much of an impression on him, he just blurted out some half-ass mangling of my last name and that stuck for him: "Moocow." Have a guffaw, it's free.

I'm surprised no one ever attempted to call me "Drug Mowbray." Too obvious? Too much guilt for enabling?

Perhaps I have a nickname amongst certain groups of people, the kind of name I would never hear directly.

I'm not looking for something to be on my tombstone. In fact, I hope I don't have a tombstone, nor a tomb.

And I don't think it is in me to make an attempt this late in life to be considered affectionately. That ship done sailed.

But, I would like to have a nickname ready in the off-off-off chance that someday I will enter the ring as a professional boxer (or at the very least, which is really one of my heart's very most: boxing photographer), I'm going to need a pithy handle.

The Marauder?

It's alliterative, but not appropriate.

Think I'll need some help with this one.

Complete This Joke

A friend of mine wrote half a joke but was unable to finish it.

Task: I will write the joke; you supply the punchline. Pass this around to all your friends, post bulletins on MySpace, etc., and let's collect as many punchlines as we can. Here goes:

What's the difference between Jesus and a scarecrow?

1. One is a character in a fantasy book that was put up on a stick to scare poor, stupid creatures from fucking with the money-producing crops of rich landowners...

...and the other was in "The Wizard of Oz."

2. Scarecrows don't need twelve disciples to believe in them.
3. You save three nails on a scarecrow.
4. Really, who wants the fucking blood of Christ on their hands??
5. A scarecrow just needs a holey post.
6. Corn fields are MUCH cleaner (and smell nicer) than your average golgotha.
7. After a few days, a good Jesus just starts to rot and stink.
8. If you told someone "My Scarecrow told me to do," you would actually get the mental help you need.
9. Jesus loves me, this I know.... haven't heard shit from that scarecrow. And he owes me $20.
10. [Insert punchline here.]

Clever Reverend #5

More D.C. Pictures

R.I.P. "Chico"

Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images

Thank you for delivering the best fight I've seen in my lifetime.

"The old order has passed away;
welcome them into paradise,
where there will be no sorrow,
no weeping nor pain,
but fullness of peace and joy"

Mantra

Kurt Vonnegut 1922-2007

Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times

Kurt Vonnegut 1922-2007

I once saw Vonnegut at a reading in Denver. It was right after Princess Di died and he said something like, why does anyone care about this twit?

Rest easy, Kurt.